Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Specialization is for Insects

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
-Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough For Love

Not All Bad

Life can't be all bad when for ten dollars you can buy all the Beethoven sonatas and listen to them for ten years.
-William F. Buckley, Jr.

Insult

I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.
-William F. Buckley, Jr.

Inverse Relationship

There is an inverse relationship between reliance on the state and self-reliance.
-William F. Buckley Jr.

Standing athwart history ...

A Conservative is a fellow who is standing athwart history yelling 'Stop!'
-William F. Buckley, Jr.

Demure Lady

Truth is a demure lady, much too ladylike to knock you on your head and drag you to her cave. She is there, but people must want her, and seek her out.
-William F. Buckley, Jr.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Matt...

"Matt... you're gay."
-Aaron Barrigar

Radioactive Shotgun

"There's no problem that can't be solved with a radioactive shotgun."
-Adam Stoeckle

Comin' to a Middle

"Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly comin' to a middle."
-Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly

Small Sins

It does not matter how small the sins are, provided that their cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into the Nothing. Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick.
-C.S. Lewis

Reason to Believe

"I've wasted so much time
coming up with questions.
Asking 'Why?' has never answered much for me.
And really who am I,
to never feel the weight of burden?
When was I promised simplicity?"
-Stavesacre, "Reason to Believe"

Thy Will Be Done

There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done."
-C.S. Lewis

Madman or something worse.

I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: 'I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God.' That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic -- on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg -- or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.
–C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, pages 40-41.

Garage

"Standing in a garage doesn't make you a car."
-Pastor Ronn Johnson

We made up for it...

"We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking."
-John McKay

Win or Tie

"The alumni are with you, win or tie."
-Duffy Daugherty

Taxes

Via Instapundit, hat tip to Libertas:

"Others have said they would personally be happy to pay higher taxes. I welcome their enthusiasm, and I am pleased to report that the IRS accepts both checks and money orders."
-George W. Bush, State of the Union Address, 1/28/2008

Machete

"If I might lend a machete to your intellectual thicket..."
-Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

"Some kids are dumb."

"Trust me on this: Some kids are dumb."
-John Derbyshire, The Corner at NRO

A Robo

Hobo1: "Let's give a friendly welcome to this new robo."
Bender: "What did you call me?!"
Hobo2: "A Robo. You know ... a robot hobo."
Bender: "Oh, ok, I thought you said romo."

From Futurama, "The 30% Iron Chef".

Spider Monkey

"They just jumped on us like a spider monkey."
-San Diego fullback Lorenzo Neal after a 38-14 loss to the Patriots.

Flamethrower

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
-George Carlin

The Wookiees?

Jolee Bindo: I guess you could say I did it all for the Wookiees.
Revan: The Wookiees?
Jolee Bindo: The Wookiees!

HK-47

HK-47: Statement: HK-47 is ready to serve, master.
Revan: You don't need to call me master, you know.
HK-47: Query: Don't I? I was under the assumption that organic meatbags such as yourself enjoyed such forms of address.
Revan: "Organic meatbags?"
HK-47: Retraction: Did I say that out loud? I apologize, master. While you are a meatbag, I suppose I should not call you as such.
Revan: You just called me a meatbag again!
HK-47: Explanation: It's just that... you have all these squishy parts, master. And all that water! How the constant sloshing doesn't drive you mad, I have no idea...
Revan: Neither do I, come to think of it...
HK-47: Statement: Now do you understand the travails of my existence, master? Surely it does not compare to your existence, but still...
Revan: I survive. Somehow.
HK-47: Commentary: As do I. It is our lot in life, I suppose, master. Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?

HK-47: Can I break his neck now master? It's been a long time fantasy of mine...
Revan: Maybe later...
HK-47: Did you hear that meatbag? "I'LL BE BACK!"

[Speaking with a Jawa who refers to 'Ghosts in the desert']
HK-47: Explanation: Two per cent probability that the miniature organic is simply looking for trouble and needs to be blasted. That may be wishful thinking on my part, master.

HK-47: Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope... Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds.

Additional Voices: There's something out there... it got the other submersible already.
HK-47: Suggestion: Perhaps we could dismember the organic? It would make it easier for transport to the surface.
Additional Voices: Hey! Y-you... you can't rip me to pieces! I'll die!!
HK-47: Amendment: I did forget that. Stupid, frail, non-compartmentalized meatbags!

HK-47: Suggestion: Electrocution work well. Evisceration and Decapitation are also effective, or, um, so I've heard.

HK-47: Statement: HK-47 is ready to serve, master. Observation: Notice that I did not ask if you need anyone killed. You may be curious as to why. Answer: That is because you told me to stop asking if you needed anyone killed. So I have. From now on, I will simply say, "I am ready to serve." Yes, ready to serve. In whatever way a common protocol or utility droid might serve. It seems that is my lot in life. Not to kill.

HK-47: Statement: Pain is really the only reliable means by which truth may be obtained. Or so I choose to believe.

Money Management

"Money management. Or, I guess, more like actually having some money to manage."
-Cedric Benson on his biggest off-field priority after the draft, from ESPN.com